$1805 + $3160 = Up $4965.. only when you know the rules should you break them

I've been not playing so much the past week. In a somewhat lack of discipline, I had a 22 hour session from last Sunday (8/26) afternoon to Monday afternoon, which kind of blew my brains through the top of my skull and made me pretty sick of poker. In thinking about the pivotal hands now, I really am surprised that I can't fault myself for any of the play. Anyway, the session was like 3 sessions in one, so, forgive me for omitting a lot of the details.

Anyway, I think I'm not going to play until at least Saturday, I'd like to spend time at the library getting some non-poker writing done.

8/26 Up $1805, 22 fucking hours...
I buy in for $1500, in the first hour or so I get the improbable nuts with Q9 for a turned gutshot. Two other dudes in the hand, all the money gets in when I have the nuts, on the turn. One dude calls with pretty bad odds to hit his 7 high flush to suck out on me. I buy back in for $1500, I'm about even when I try to bluff James Woods off his pair of Jacks. Stupid stupid bluff of me, I put him on pretty much the hand he had, but my stupidity was thinking that he could fold it. He kept going on about how I must have a set, but called anyway. So I'm down $3k, and break the money management rule and buy in for $2k.

I'm just even and even and more even, spinning my wheels with no big hands for hours and hours. As the night goes on the players get looser and dumber, and I find no positions to capitalize on any of it.

And I break the how long I should play rule. 9 hours, 10, 11 hours... I got there at 6 or so, it's 5am, I'm seated facing the door, and I see the parking lot light up in the dawn light. But, I'm stuck, I'm pissed about it, and I'm focused completley in the zone and focused on getting at least some of it back. The world kind of evaporated around me, I am just poker, just this table, and just these men, this table of men who didn't have to be anywhere to be on a Monday morning.

But, the cards are still against me, and I lose and I lose, as I just can't make a hand. My last $1k is sucked out as I have KQ, flop comes K6x, and dude put me all in on the flop. I insta-called. He had a pair of 67 that he would hit two pair with on the turn. So, I'm broke, I'm down $5k, I've been playing for 15 straight hours at this point. But, wow, I'm focused, and I can't recall a hand where I put the money in bad, and the table is full of either people that I can read easily, or who are just aggressive donkeys.

So, I break another rule, and I walk to the cashier, and $5k out of my account. I walk back to the table, dump the chips on it. I get reactions like “uh oh! We're playing now.” And I was there to play. I knew I was the best player on the table, and I was just in no mood to go home with a $5k loss, and so I just started playing super super aggressive. Maybe raising 25% of the hands, all medium sized raises, $100, or $120. And losing, and losing, and finally, I'm down like $1k from the last buy in (so $6k total loss, $4k on the table)...

It's about 10am, The sun is approaching it's zenith in the afternoon sky, there's not much light coming through the door of the casino, but I know it's bright out there, and I know it's going to hurt as I walk out to the parking lot...

I get 99 on the button. Me and 3 others call a $100 bet from a tight dude in early position. Flop = 678. Tight Dude bets $300, folds around to me, I make it $700. He's thinking, he's thinking... I'd been talking too much for the past few hours. Jabbering to anyone who'd listen to me, mainly to keep myself focused, swilling coffee, doing so many chip tricks I'd started to get blisters. And in this hand I'm like “come on! You have aces? Put your money in! You have Ace King? Throw it away.” Anyway, he goes all in... barf... But... It's only $1170 for me to call. And so I sit there and do the math... well, let's see 10 outs is 1.6 to 1. $1170 x 1.6 = $1872. So, there only needs to be $700 in the pot for me to call, there's already $1400 in from our bets on the turn. So, it's clearly a call.. but for $1k.. and after 15 or so hours of losing I'm really kind of frazzled, and it takes me a long time to do this math. Anyway, I finally get everything straight, I call, he shows KK. turn = 5, (straight!), river = K (giving him a set of K's as if to just punch him in the stomach...). Yay I still have no profit. I'm still down like $1k at this point...

Finally, around 11am they get a must move table going. This pretty good young poker star comes from the table and sits to my right. He's giving me a scouting report on the action at his table. I'm genuinely enjoying talking to him when I get KK under the gun. I limp, and continue with our conversation. It's folded around to the small blind, who just completes. The kid nonchalantly grabs a stack of white chips and makes it fucking $600 into what was a $60 pot. In the five seconds I think about it, I find it suspicious, maybe he has TT or QQ, the possibility that he might have AA doesn't even enter my mind, but then again, I wasn't really in a mood to entertain such possibilities and I insta-all in. SB folds instantly, the kid sighs, and calls! I don't even have time to realize what's happened, before the flop is being dealt, with probably the most beautiful King I've ever seen in the window. As the turn and river are dealt, he turns up his aces, I turn up my kings, kind of sheepishly, almost as if to apologize to him, but man, what could I have done? I'm feeling this hand kind of played itself, there was no way that I'm folding KK to that suspicious looking huge-overbet, and if I think about it for a second, just call and see the flop, I'll take his stack anyway.

Eventually I get KK again, and take a bigger than it should have been pot from the old dude the kid was telling me about. I'm up maybe $2500 or even $3k at one point. I'm no longer playing with any aggression, as I just feel the energy leave me almost as soon as I get up. I have somewhere around $12k in front of me, and I have no desire to gamble anymore. I am feeling I've managed to escape, and that I want to leave. I'm like a well fed shark, just digesting after the big kill. And I leave soon after.

Rest....
I wander around like a zombie for maybe three days after this. I smoke way too much pot, and sit on my ass way too much. I have no brain for anything, nor do I really want one as it's nice to just be stoned and spaced out. Feeling good from having my first winning month since May, for having my first $10k month in, man.. I don't know... maybe ever? (I don't feel like figuring this out right now...).

8/31 Up $3160 in 3 hours
On Friday, I had a friend coming to town to play a show. I'd kind of resigned to not playing for the rest of the week, as I was going to visit my brother in San Fran for labor day weekend, and I had to go to that show on Friday, and I'd finally just started to feel recovered from the Sun-Monday session. But, I hadn't played for awhile, and I was just feeling a hankering for it.

So my day went like this:

• I retrieved my lost ATM card at a bank of america in a part of town I have no idea existed.

• Decided that I should go to the commerce to get some money out of my account, for my trip to SF. But not play, as I didn't have the time, I hadn't written, etc etc. No way to play. No play, no way.

• When I'm pulling in the parking lot, I figure “Hey, I'm here, what's the harm in playing for a couple hours?”

  • Play for 45 minutes. Win $1425. Mostly on having AK flop = KXX, turn = K, he bets every street. Yay!

• Leave to go home, eat something, shower, change, and go to the show.

  • I get there, early, as it turns out that in LA a club saying "doors open at 8," doesn't mean "bands go on at 9” like it would in NY. No, in LA it means that bands go on at midnight.

  • But! I have no LA friends to kill the time with.. And, since I'm 15 minutes from the Commerce, why not go back and play?!??!!!!

• Play for 60 minutes. Win another $1735...

  • 3 good bluffs,

  • 1 semi-superstar call on a tilted player.

  • I hit the nuts on this kid twice, 1st time he thinks I'm bluffing but folds anyway for my $600 river bet. 2nd time he insta calls with top pair for $500.

  • I only lost one or two pots that I put $100 into.

• Leave to see the show, which wasn't so great. But the place was amazing, amazing. 3 floors of hip hop shows, all for one price, all going at the same time. The front room is freestyle, the middle room is local acts, and then they have this pretty big outside stage where the headliners perform. I was really impressed with the freestyle and the local kids. Wow, some of them were really amazing.

More rest
The next morning (Sat), I get up and drive the 6 hours on hwy 5 from LA to SF. That drive is kind of amazing at how flat it is. For some reason I thought that CA was as densely populated as NJ. It is not, it turns out it's a desert. Anyway, nice family time in SF. Good times, much wine drunk in Sonoma, much karaoke sung in SF. The drive back wasn't quite as fun as the drive there.

Up $680... lessons on poker etiquette

Write some in the blog, and then promise to myself of how I'm going to play more patient. I get there and it all kind of goes out the window. I sit down to a cramped table in between the dealer and the Staker. Staker has his chips in a rack in my space, and I politely ask him to move to give me some space, to which he begrudgingly does, and gives me an annoyed “is that ok?” To which I do my best to politely thank him.

On my first big hand I raise with KQ, Staker calls. Flop = KJT, I bet again, he calls. Turn = X. I check, he bets, I call. I only have $600 or so left in front of me after this. The river is also a blank, and he puts me all in. I insta-call him, to which he says “I've got nothing.” I turn over the cards, don't look at him. It takes him a long time to fold, at which point I've kind of got the feeling that he's slow rolling me, but he isn't and he mucks. I guess he was just pissed that I'd give him such little respect to call him on a hand like that. I say nothing, I don't look at him, he says nothing to me. I am not sure why this guy hates me so much. He's so friendly and talkative with everyone else at the table, with the entire staff of the casino, and when ever I say anything in his conversation, I get ignored. But, whatever, I've resolved to avoid engaging him in any manner that I don't have to, but also to go out of my way to be nothing but polite to him.

My next big hand I have 88, and I try to make a couple superstar calls on this tight asian dude, on a board of like 442 or something, but he has 99, which I don't realize until I've given him $1800. Very very stupid. I had no reason to be making these calls on him. I'd seen him play nothing but good cards in the few times I've played with him, and so there was no reason. My other mistake in this hand was not going all in on the river. He was obviously not happy with me raising, and to not take advantage of this was also a very bad play, I mean, if I'm going to play these cards, I should play the cards. So I'm back to even. I try to bluff at a few pots, it doesn't work out, I can't hit a hand.

The UFC is on in the bar, and I take about an hour break to watch that. Good fight, I was among the minority who wanted to see Couture get his 44 year old ass pounded. Actually I was sure that he would, and this makes me really glad that I don't bet on sports.

So I get back to the table, and lose a few hundred more on a couple small bluffs and reasonable calls. This kid directly to my right I've seen limp in early position and make a huge re-raise like maybe three or four times. So, I get JJ, he limps, I raise to $120, he makes it $320, I go all in. He calls.. with KK.. Shite. Well, he only had $900 or so, and so, I'm still alive, with $600 on the table. Down from a $2500 buy in. I have $5k in my pocket that I'm really tempted to put on the table, but I get a hold of myself, and stick to the $2500 limit that I'd promised myself. I realize that I'm pissed at myself in throwing away another big early profit. So, I resolve to torture myself a bit, and see how tight and patient I can play with the $600. Two hands later I get TT in the small blind. It's straddled, and there are a bunch of callers, and I'm getting ready to make a huge raise and take the pot. But, this pretty tight and good player with like $10k makes it $200 on the button. And I think for a second that he might be making a move, he's made some before, but, I decide that playing good means to throw hands like this away. And I do. He doesn't show or comment, but I'm happy with this play, and I think that quite a few players in this spot would have thrown all their money in.

So, I sit, and eventually pick up $300 with AK. Bet $100 pre flop, three callers, and shove the last $400 in on the J high flop. The dudes I was in the hand with were all good and tight, I was nervous about someone having a J, but no one called. I realized then who was actually paying attention to my game, and how little I was playing for the past hour, and who wasn't.

The big WPT thing has brought a lot of these 22 year old tournament players out. And they are all horrible. Horrible people to play with, and horrible at poker. They all have dollar signs in their eyes, and their brand of all in stupidity, of playing every pot like their life depends on it, is the brand that will win one of these things. But, in the cash games, if someone goes all in on you, you really need to be able to throw away aces a lot of the time. Anyway, one of these kids sit down to my left.

This hair lip, who I don't dislike, but he only has like $400, and I'd like to get him off the table, so we can get some more money on it. Anyway, me and three others call a bet from him, I have 55, and flop a set. Check to him, he bets, everyone else folds, I put him all in. He can't resist calling, and he busts and leaves. Yay. But, it's as though this kid re-spawns himself in the form of three other tournament players, who are ten times douchier than he was. These kids sitting directly to my left have no concept of poker etiquette, taking forever with every decision they make, frequently speculating loudly about hands they're not even playing in. It's infuriating, I try to get them to shut up a few times, politely, but then eventually I've kind of just had it.

This kid directly to my left got bluffed out on his very first hand for a big pot, and the kid just couldn't let it go. And for the next two hours I have to hear him whine about it. At first I was pretty nice to him, saying something like “man, you can either let it go, or go crazy with tilt.” But, being stuck a grand my patience started to really wear thin, as not only do I have to listen to him whine, but these kids taking for-fucking-ever on every decision. Finally, I snapped on this hand: another tournament looking kid, who actually knew how to not piss people off, makes a $200 raise, to which the kid to my left calls, and this other tournament kid goes all in for $400 more. Both kids call, when they realize it can't be re-raised. Flop is all low. Raiser makes it $600, and as soon as he raises I call the floor over, when the floor gets there, I call clock on the kid. To which he and his buddy spaz out on me. “It's only been like thirty seconds! What's your problem?” Blah blah. Ok, so, no time, but he's still thinking and thinking, and I try to call the floor back and call time on him again, to which he spazzes out on me again. Ok, so no time is called again. Eventually the kid calls. Turn is another low card, raiser makes a big raise and the kid goes all in. The raiser is contemplating his decision, when the kid's buddy says something like “Aahhh ha! I knew you had Ace King!!!” To which I start cursing him “shut the fuck up. This is a $4k pot.” To which he says “Really 'shut the fuck up?'” Me: “Are you serious? One player per hand, this is a huge pot, shut your fucking mouth.” Anyway, raiser calls with TT, kid had 88. Retarded. Kid buys back in for $2k though, which makes me happy.

As the cards are being dealt for the next hand, kid says to me. “Just so you know, I'm not chopping with you anymore.” Me: “You're still gonna chop with your buddy?” Kid: “Yeah, or whoever sits next to me, but not you. That was bullshit calling time on me.” A few hands later he raises to $130, that me and like 4 others also smelling his tilt, call. I have 55, and I'm thinking how amazing it would be to flop a set on his ass. And I do, with a K52 flop. It's checked to Kid, who bets $300, one caller, and I go all in for the $1090 I have in front of me. He's looking at me, “Did you flop a set? Pocket fives or twos?” I say nothing, I know that if I'm silent, and don't look at him, it'll just make him mad. His buddy says something like “you should call time now.” Nothing, nothing, nothing. He calls eventually. I'm like “good call, yeah good call.” Turn and river dealt.. “Yeah, good call, good call.... I mean, for me!!!” Turn over the set, he looks like he wants to puke. As I'm taking the pot in I say “Hey! Thanks for the money!” He says nothing, and sits there looking like someone just shot his dog. His friend tries to get him to take a break, but he refuses. I know I have him on crazy tilt, but it's 2AM, and I'm tired and I don't think I have the energy to battle with him, so I leave.

This is the great thing about the difference between playing in a casino and in home games, the chance to really be an asshole. I mean, I had this kid on such tilt, that there was no way that he could make any right decisions after that. I drive away laughing my head off, and blasting this Chavez song .

down $3000

So, talking to my mother yesterday afternoon, she asks something about if I've thought of a career change. “Well, I can make like $120k a year here if I play good all the time.” She says “but you can't play well all the time. No one can.” To which I start to argue about how I can do it! Through discipline, through money management, blah blah blah. And then as if to prove her right, I go and hang out with my neighbors who are BBQ-ing by the pool and break a good number of my rules: I smoked weed in the afternoon at a BBQ with my neighbors, I hung out too long and didn't get a chance to sit down and write before going to play. And so I made mistakes...

I sit down to a tough looking must-move with $1500. In my first hand I win a big pot with a flush, I bought in for $1500, and so I have like $2500 on the table.

First mistake:
A few hands later, I get QQ. I raise the straddle to $170, straddler and another call. Flop = J7T, two clubs. Checked to me, I bet $350, straddler raises to $800, other dude folds. I'm looking at the board, and thinking about all the draws that he could have, and how he probably just has a J, and so I go all in. Really really stupid. Wow, stupid. I mean, this is the reason why over-betting is the dumbest thing in the world. I don't want him to draw for cheap, but of course there's always the chance that he's flopped a big hand. I could have found out what he had for a raise of $1k, instead of this huge bet. Anyway, he insta-calls with the nuts of 98 off suit (why he defended his straddle for $130 I don't know, but whatever). Anyway, in my second runner runner suckout in as many sessions, the board comes A, K, giving me the nuts for broadway. Let's see, what was I here? I don't remember if I had the Q of clubs, if I did I was 9-1, if not I was 14 -1. So, I'm a bit tilted from this, which is a weird kind of tilt when the dealer is pushing you a monstrous pot.

Second mistake:
There's this super super aggressive kid on the table. Wearing this absurd yellow shirt, little goatee, and these dorky gold 80's cop glasses. I'm watching him raise to $130 every other pot, and so a few hands after I've sucked out with the QQ, I decide to pop him with 98 suited. I limp, knowing he's probably going to raise, which he obliges me with. One caller, and I pop him to $350. He calls, other guy folds. Flop = Q9X, 2 spades. I bet $400, he thinks for awhile and calls. Turn = X. Check, check. River = K of spades. Here's the mistake: I raise to $600. Why? Well, because I figure if he didn't have spades, he'd fold. Stupid. This $600 bet into an $1100 pot just screams that I don't have it, and I can be bluffed out. And this kid was good enough to pick up on that. I'm feeling that my pair of 9's was probably good here, and I could have just check/called him. But he grabs a $2k stack of hundred dollar chips, and pushes them forward. I'm thinking for a long long time, and I just know that I have him, or at least I'm pretty sure. But, I'm cursing at myself for betting the river, the check call would have only been like $1k, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a flush, but I'm wondering if he has a K. Anyway, I think for a long while, and I fold. He shows the AT of clubs. I shouldn't have tried to muscle him out in the first place. I've done so well being very patient with the super aggressive dudes. Wait wait and wait, and then hit them over the head with a huge hand, get them to fear you, and then pop them maybe once after that. However, this process takes a minimum of 5 hours. Playing with this kid this early was so so stupid of me.

I'm moved to the main game where I lose a couple hands trying to bluff a couple pots. I put the whole $3k I've taken out of my account on the table. I've gone from being up $2800 after that QQ suck-out, to being down a few hundred.

Third:
On the main table, I'm sitting with James Woods who I played with once before, he's pretty bad. Does the Daniel Negranu thing of calling out people's hands and then paying them off. I usually see him lose, and tonight he has a bunch of money in front of him. I limp in late position with A5. Flop = 55T, 2 clubs. He bets $100, folds to me, I make it $250 more. He thinks and thinks, and then calls. Turn = X. Checks to me, I bet $600, he calls. Before the blanked river is dealt, he's going on about how he has a boat, and how he's not going to bet, because he doesn't want to “ruin your night.” I say something like “I don't think you have a boat, I think you were on a flush draw.” He says some bullshit line about, “well, it's not a very good boat.” He checks to me, and I think and think, and I only have $1300 left, and I just check. I hate myself for this, he turns over 52, and I take the pot. The mistake was not betting the river. I knew I had him, and I could have put out a $700 bet, and he probably would have made a crying call.

Fourth:
I'm chatting with this this pretty good pro sitting directly to my left. He's going on about playing the 20/40 game with Sean Shikan the other night, talking about chip tricks, etc etc. He's not that aggressive, he's a pretty even, decent player. So, in the middle of our friendly conversation, I limp into the pot with him and three others with 9T of diamonds. Flop = AJX, all diamonds. I decide not to slow play it, and I bet $130, about the size of the pot, he calls, and another call. Turn = X. I bet $300, he raises to $700. Other dude folds. The only thought in my head at this point was how to get all the money into the pot, so, I go all in. And he insta calls with KT of diamonds, and I'm drawing dead. He had me covered by a ton, and this was about a $5k pot. The all in was the mistake here, again, I could have made a reasonable raise. Just calling would have been the best option, this guy was obviously very good, and he wasn't not putting his money in with nothing. I was hoping he had a set or maybe even AK, but that was such a stupid hope, because he wouldn't have been in the hand at this point. Although this was a really tough spot for me to be in, I still think that I could have just called him down on his raise on the turn, and check called the river for another thousand or so. If I'd been playing my best, I mean....

If there is a silver lining in this session, it's that I'm proud for leaving at this point. Taking my $3k loss on the chin, admit that I wasn't playing my best, and going the hell home. In the first week of this trip, I posted sessions of $5k and $4k losses, neither was necessary, and I'm glad to have saved myself a few thousand that I'm certain I would have lost.

Ok, been writing for the better part of 4 hours now. Feeling good finally. Got a little bit of nervousness that's pretty good for me. Time to go.

Up $5380 (thursday, 8/23)

I buy in for $1500, wait for my blind to start playing. The very first hand I get A5, check my big blind. Flop = Ac5c3h. I check. The button, a pretty decent, and mostly tight assed pro, who I find very funny, bets, I call. Turn = 4h. Check, bet, call. River = 6h. I check, he goes all in. The pot is only like $400. I say “wow, that's a horrible card.” Muck the hand face up. He shows me a 3 of clubs. I think I should have thought about this a little more, and maybe I could have called. It would have been a pretty amazing call. And of course a 2 beat me, or maybe he had a set of 3's? I'm not sure.

I sit for awhile, it's the must move, and I don't really like playing too much at the must move, as I usually don't feel I have enough time to get into people's games. But, this kid who's obviously really aggressive sits down. He's also talking to The Staker, bemoaning losing $3k the night before. Observing his play up to this point, I imagine his loss was because he can't fold a hand. So, I decided to call his $100 from the BB with 64 of hearts, with the plan to check raise anything he bets on the flop. I get a better flop than I'd expected in the form of KJ5 with two hearts. He bets $200, I make it $500, and he instantly goes all in. Doh! Well, I only have $750 left, I'm 2-1 to hit the flush, so I need to make $1500 to make the call right. There's already $1400 in the pot, plus his $750 makes it way in my favor. But... He turns over AT of hearts. Doh! But... Turn = 3 of not hearts, and river = 7 of not hearts, giving me a straight. Nice! As I'm taking the pot in he goes on about how bad he's running, how he was a huge favorite, blah blah blah. But I reason, that I had to put him on exactly Ax of hearts in order to give me bad expected value. I just looked it up and actually, I was 4.5 -1 so, not as horrible as I'd thought.

So, I'm up about $1k now, and am moved to the main game. I'm in seat one, and my first big hand is against seat 9 (they only play 9 handed at the Commerce). Because of the dealer between us, I don't get a really get a look at this guy. I only remember his hands always putting chips into the pot, a kind of disembodied arm feeding chips pots in hopeless situations. A real passive calling station, he could not fold any hand if he had any draw or any piece of the board. I get AA, I raise, he's the only caller. Flop = 9TX two diamonds. I bet the size of the pot, he calls. Turn = Ad. He checks, and I go all in. He calls almost instantly! Fiver = blank. I turn over the aces, he mucks. I still can not figure out what he had, maybe 9T? Maybe AT? I have no idea. He re-buys for $2k or so.

I lose a medium hand to a pretty tight Indian dude. I can't even remember the hand now, because it was somewhat inconsequential in the scheme of things. So, after this little loss I'm up about $2k, with $3500 on the table, when this hand comes: Donkey and I call this aggressive kid's $100 raise. I have 9T of diamonds. Flop = 9TX, two clubs. Donkey checks, I bet $200, kid folds, donk calls. Turn = 9!! I bet $500, donk looks at his cards, looks at the flop, looks like he's about to muck his hand, but he calls!!!!! River = 8 of not clubs. Donk makes a huge bet, I go all in, he insta-calls! He has me covered!! He proudly turns up QJ for a straight! I have a boat! He's got me covered!!! Yayaya I'm rich!!!!! He gets up immediately after this hand.

I'm feeling rather great about this whole thing, and my play in general. Which isn't the best thing for me, as I kind of get lazy, and don't get aggressive enough, and I lack the willingness to gamble, even when I'm pretty sure I have the best hand. I know a lot of people who think this conservative style of play is the way to succeed, but it's not, it will lead to missing a lot of pots you could win. Anyway, it's something I need to correct. There were a number of hands that I had big aces but, I was unwilling to see flops due to any sizable bet.

I also feel that I'm making a common mistake of getting too friendly with my neighbors at the table. It's ok to be chatty, but, I still must look into their games and find their flaws. I made a mistake in this manner against this middle aged lady who was sitting next to me, and kind of flirty and very flattering, in a way that reminded me of my high school friend's mothers. In one hand I call her bet pre flop, and I flop a set of 8's. I let her bet the flop, she obviously had an over pair, but I just went all in, kind of to let her know. I am not feeling good about this in retrospect, I should have let her hang herself, and let her bet again, or made a reasonable bet and done my best to give her a tough decision. I probably left about $1k, maybe even her whole stack on the table.

On losing, part 3

I'm only down like $1k on the trip at this point. I'm not sure why the thought of coming home with a loss chapped my ass so badly. If I were home, I would have taken a break, checked myself into the “poker hospital” for at least a week and not played until I didn't feel so bad. But, yeah, like I said, nothing else to do there. When I eventually lie down, I doze in and out for a couple hours at a time, instead of ruminating about my stupidity, my brain fixated on the monomaniacal thought of how I'm going to make it right. When thinking about this sequence of events, it is this night I think of most. I think of how I could have taken the car we rented and driven a few hours to visit my parents, relax, and in a day or two come back to play the tournaments we'd gone down to play in the first place. But, no, I didn't do that at all...
- On Losing, part 2
- On Losing, part 1


I got up in the afternoon, on maybe four or five hours total sleep, put two $5k bands in my pocket, walk downstairs to the casino, find a seat at the $10/$25 table, open one of these bands and empty the contents onto it. This table features Chad Brown (Bluff magazine's 2006 player of the year), Amnon Filippi (as seen on High Stakes Poker), and a bunch of tight/pro looking dudes who I'd played with the other day. If you can't find the sucker at the table...

I sit down and start playing hard, and bluffing hard, up a little, down a little. I am about even when I get the J9 of clubs somewhere in middle position. I raise to $150 or so. Brown is the only caller. Flop = XXX, two clubs. I bet the size of the pot, Brown calls. Turn = Q of not clubs. Brown checks, I go all in for about $3500. The pot is a little under $1k at this point, and so, this bet was a retardedly huge over-bet.

I had this sunglasses sthick I'd do in these days. Where I'd keep dark sunglasses on top of my head until I'd get involved in hands, when I'd pull them down, put my put my chin in my hands, and cross my arm on my bicep. It was kind of a shield that I felt somewhat fearless behind. So, I have the glasses down, I have my hand covering half my face, I'm sitting in seat eight, and I'm staring at Brown in seat two contemplating his decision.

I'm surprised that he hasn't folded quickly. Instead he keeps looking at me, looks back at his chips, looks at his cards, looks back at me. The table is silent, all eyes are on Brown's eyes that keeps looking up at me, down to the pot, down to his chips, down to his cards. I'm not nervous in the slightest, not because I was sure he was folding, but more because this is really the zenith of degenerate gambling, of being caught in a tailspin of losing where rational thoughts are replaced by the sickly monomaniacal instinct of trying to get even. I didn't consider the risk/reward of the amount I bet, I didn't consider who I was playing. I made a frustrated and stupid play. And Brown hasn't done anything yet, he's asked me no questions, he's said nothing to the table, he's postulated no theories on what I had, or discussed his thinking. He just keeps looking up and down. I sit motionless in the same position, staring at him.

After two or three minutes he says two words: “I call.”

By the time I've registered what's happened, the dealer has put the river card out. When I finally look at it, I'm praying it's a club. It's not. It wouldn't have helped me anyway. A few seconds later, I come to my sense and say, “I missed, jack high,” he turns over Q4 of clubs. As I'm pushing my chips, all of my chips, towards the pot, I say “good call.” Brown just nods in response to this without looking at me, as he takes the pot in. The guy next to me, is astonished and says “how did he call that?” Well, I guess, because you don't get to be player of the year for nothing.

I reach into my pocket and put the other $5k on the table...

Up $1420

I was planning to play again tonight, but I played for 5 hours yesterday and I just felt myself hit the wall. And I've won three in a row, and so I think I'll reward myself by taking take today and tomorrow to do nothing productive, drink some beers, hang out by the pool, and wander around LA a bit.

The game was easy, no huge hands for me. I sit and watch these two maniacs suck out on people the whole game. Here's a good one. Maniac calls $200 with AQ, flop = XXX, better puts maniac all in for like $1500, maniac calls. turn = X, river = Q. Better had JJ. Hands like that the whole night, so I just sit with a helmet on, and do nothing. Unfortunately I get no hands. The dude directly to my right employs the same strategy, but he gets a set of 7's and doubles through the Maniac, and then pocket Kings, and busts him, when he can't lay down T8 pre flop, nor on the T high flop. I leave shortly after this hand, as I'm tired and he was the only reason I was pushing myself to stay.

So, the whole discipline thing I wrote about worked out very well, and no drink, no bad food, exercise a lot, write a lot. Through it I found such a high degree of patientce and the ability to actualy follow my game plan, instead of being overcome with the desire to gamble that I often feel. In my last 5 games, I'm up $11k. Which I'm feeling is more of a relief than anything. Anyway, see y'all on Thursday.

Up $2670

I spend the first five hours completely even. I get up $500 or so, then make a bluff, and a couple reasonable calls that don't work out and find myself down $300. Win a couple little pots, get up. Lose a few more, go down, etc etc. I get involved in no big pots, I make no big decisions, I get a couple big pairs, raise, and everyone folds. But I find myself very very patient, and very very observant of the whole table. 7 of the 9 players are either very tight or have a little bit of skill, I can bluff them, but I'm not going to win any real money from them. I'm at the table for two players: seat 8, this middle aged dude who's a calling station with a seemingly infinite supply of money, and seat 7 is a younger very aggressive kid. I watch seat 8 suck-out on a couple hands and not bet the river when his middle or bottom pair have turned into trips, and then blow all that money making some of the worst calls I can imagine. He's completely unbluffable, and because of this I avoid playing any pots with him without a hand. Unfortunately, in the four hours it takes him to blow $6k or so, and decide he's had enough, I haven't managed to find a hand I want to play against him.

But, the Aggressive Kid is still there, and he has managed to hit a few huge hands, and has gone from like $1k on the table, to somewhere around $4k. He's not a completely bad player, but he has a nice exploitable flaw of being way too aggressive, combined with generally making over-bets. He's the exact type of player that I'm very used to playing back home. I let him bluff me out of a few pots, I play pretty passively against him for a few hours. I'll bet AK, pre flop, and when I don't hit, I'll just check and fold. I know that any bet that I put out on the flop is going to get re-raised, and I also know that if I allow him to run me over for a bunch of little pots, it will pay off well if I ever manage to make a hand.

I'm even, but I'm a little bored, and want some more firepower, so I put the whole $2500 I have with me on the table, so I have a little less than that at the start of this hand, which is 67 diamonds on the button, me and 3 others call a $100 raise from Aggressive Kid. Flop = 49X, two clubs. Checks around to aggressive kid, who surprisingly checks as well. Turn = 5 of not clubs. He bets $200, I call quickly, and I'm kind of surprised when everyone else folds. The river = 3 of not clubs, giving me the pretty well disguised nuts. He bets $400. I think and think and think, and take a nice long hesitation here. I finally raise $700 more. He goes into the tank for awhile, he asks “can you beat a set?” I say “do you really have a set?” I'm pretty sure he maybe has A9 or something retarded, I've seen him making so many calls like that the whole night, and I'm pretty confident that his hand is somewhere around there. The fact that I've been calling or checking up to this point has him confused as well, as he starts muttering to himself about how it feels like I missed a flush draw. Finally he sees the straight. “Do you have 67?” I say nothing, I do my best to give him no help at all. “67, really? Ok, show me 67.” He throws his money in, I turn the cards over, take the pot. Yay. I think maybe I could have gone all in here. I think maybe he would have called, I don't know though, I have no idea what he had. Anyway, this was a nice big pot from him, and I now have a little profit, and I have this dude on a nice tilt.

On the very next time it's my button, I know that I have his number, and I call his $80 raise with J8 of spades. Flop = 875, one spade. He bets $200, I call. I turn = 6 of spades. Not the best card for me, but, it brings the spade draw, and I'm somewhat sure I have the best hand now, or if not, I have a ton of outs. Before he does anything I decide that if he bets, I'm going to go all in. He bets $600, and as soon as the bet is out of his mouth, I insta-all-in. Which I guess I should have actually counted out and maybe thought about, because it's like a raise of $2200 (on top of his $600). A big overbet, but to take the $1k pot, it's not horrible. He goes on and on about how he flopped two pair. He says “You haven't bluffed me all night, but I think you're bluffing me now.” I say nothing, look up at him, pulse pounding in my neck, I say nothing, but just look at the pot, and him in my periphery. He's still in the tank a minute later, when he asks “do you want me to call?” I shrug and say “do what you gotta do man.” Which I think is about the best response I could give him. He's counting his money out, and I've already started praying for another spade, or an 8 (or maybe even a J would have been live), but he folds.

I'm up about $3k at this point, and I don't win another hand in the next half hour. I let him bluff me out a couple times. I make a horrible fold with 99 vs two other dudes who obviously just had a big ace. It's late, and after those two hands above, I just don't have the energy to fight with people on mediocre hands. I order some food, and when it arrives, I stop playing, eat, and go home.