Here is a funny:
me: it's like 9% humidity here every day
my boogers are so dry
I have no simile with enough wit to match the dryness of my boogers
Steve: you just need Like or As
dry as the twat of a 4-day dead bitch on Santa Monica freeway
Anyway, so. About two weeks after I get my ass capped I go back and blow another $2800 on the 10/20 game. Ran bad, played bad. I get more depressed, but a ton of friends come into town, who either don't let me pay for stuff, or who I wine at enough that I don't pay for stuff. I feel better. My girlfriend comes and visits, and I feel more better. During this time I play two sessions at the 5/10 $400 mandatory buy in game at Commerce with a friend and girlfriend. First one I crush for $2520 in 4 hours. Next one I play 2 hours win $525. Because I'm with people I don't get to stay as long as I'd like to. But, wow this game is insane. There's less money to be made here, it's far less variance. It is remedial poker, and I'm just feeling that there is no way that I can lose without getting sucked out. Here's a good example. I have AK in early position, under the gun limps. I raise to $65, 2 callers, UTG goes all in for $400 more. I think for awhile. There's $260 in the pot, and $400 more to call. I can't put him on AA or KK, simply because he's not good enough to not get excited by that hand and put out a big raise. So, I call. I am rather surprised when I win the hand with no pair, vs what he'd later say was AJ. But, after the hand he was like “how could you call??!! You thought you were behind! You thought I had a pair!” I tried explaining to him that yes, I thought he had a pair, and I thought I was 47% to win the hand, but $400 to win $660 on 47% is a great gamble. He couldn't get it, he kept going “You thought you were behind!!!!!” I just smile and laugh.
I am also finding that I'm enjoying being a complete asshole in this game, it is also profitable... “Sir. How long do you plan on playing today?” “Umm, I think another seven hours.” “Oh! Great! That gives me plenty of time for me to wipe that smug grin off your stupid fucking face.”... “Yeah buddy, keep getting those chips. You almost have enough to double me up.” People just get so thrown off their game, so tilted. I can make loose players turn tight, tight players turn loose, people who can read well lose that ability, people who have no tells become more obvious. I guess it's something people do a lot in NY, and that the politeness of LA people don't do at all.
Here's another good hand. I flop trip Jacks vs this very aggressive maniac who had like $1500 on the table. I keep calling his bets, trying to look weak. On the rive he checks, and as I'm thinking about what size bet to put out, he does something right out of Caro's Book of Tells, and pushes $200 towards the pot and says “whatever you bet I call!” So I know that my trips are good, and I push all in for $400 or so. Anyway, he start pulling his bet back, which was ok with me, I didn't expect him to call... but, a dude sitting next to him starts spazzing out. “You can't do that! You said you were going to call! You put your money in the pot!!!” I was so shocked that dude was getting involved in a hand he wasn't even in that I didn't react quickly when he called the floor over. I should have told the floor that it was ok, that there was no problem, but I was really thrown off by dude getting involved in my hand, and I just sheepishly explained to the floor what'd happened. The floor ruled that he had to leave the $200 in the pot, to which the dude started spazzing out. I told him to just give me $100 and call it even, to which he did happily. As the cards were being dealt for the next hand, I felt shitty about it and gave him the $100 back. But, dude who called floor was still going on about how dude had committed a foul. And I completely snapped at him. Something like “you don't get involved in my fucking pots. I am very capable of calling floor myself.” He tried to defend himself about how I'd agreed with him at first. Then I realized that I could put him on complete tilt if I just let him really have it, and so I got really vicious and cursed him out until other dudes at the table started got started taking sides. I ended the conversation with a wave of my hands and something like “ok, let's just drop it.” So, yeah, dude who called the floor over lost the $800 he had on the table about half an hour later. Unfortunately, not to me.
I also like acting a bit. During my 27 hour session I of course got a little loopy 15 hours in and told the table that I was going for the world record of consecutive hours of poker played. “Really??? Why are you doing that?” I sigh, look glum, make direct eye contact with the dude, “I just contracted HIV. And I don't have health insurance.” I got a good five minutes out of him being like “wow, that's terrible,” before I started laughing hysterically. I think I might do something like this with some regularity, it's interesting, casting a pall over the table, not something you see done too often, I think it could work to my advantage. Regardless, I find it incredibly funny.
Anyway $2890 profit on the trip $111.15 average. Not so good, but winning is better than losing.
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