Well, end of the winning streak, but more importantly for the first time in a long while, I played really bad for the whole session. I couldn't sleep I was so pissed at myself. Let's see the day went like this... My roommate and I moved into this amazing apartment in a great part of town. Moving is moving, and it took a day to pack, and a day to move. Exhausted, as we both busted our asses along side the movers, we met up with a couple of my other friends to see Grindhouse. It was only after the 3 hours of sitting in that movie, that I decided that I didn't want to go home to an apartment filled with unpacked boxes that and that I wanted to play. As I reflect on this, I get to thinking that this action, this feeling is what being a compulsive gambler is.. this desire to not want to do what you should be doing, and to find a game that you can idle away your time feeding on the adrenaline that gambling gives... This of course begs the question of what is a professional poker player? That's the calm, sober, and above all patient mindset of looking for opportunities to put your money in with the best hand. Of getting no thrill from winning, but rather a calm feeling of pride at putting your money in with the best hand more often than not.
So what did I do? Well, I blow my first $500 buy in, by trying to put a kid off of a hand who I thought was bluffing. He turned out to have two pair, and then I gave away my hand when I started answering his interrogation of me. Him: “Do you want a call?” Me: “I want to win the hand.” Him: “Will you show me if I fold?” Me: “Sure I'll show you.” This was the worst thing to say... I should have either said nothing, or used the “this isn't poker school” line I use a lot lately. In the private games I play in everyone has a shtick, everyone talks about their hands, about why they did what they did, about how smart they are, and how their philosophy is the right one. People show their hands way more often, people even ask to see other people's hands when they're mucking. When I'm not in the best mood to play cards, it can easily throw me off my game, and I wind up making mistakes from it. Because of this I used to wear sunglasses, mostly because people interacted with me less. I'm finding that while I don't need the sunglasses, I do need the same kind of calmness and callousness that I could project when I would wear them. Anyway, the kid calls, and I have top pair (9's) and a weak kicker, and he has bottom two pair. Turn and river blank, and he wins my first buy in.
The next buy in I blow when I just fucking know this guy has AA when he re-raises all in pre flop. And I make up all kinds of hands that he could have, so that I can call him with JJ. Fucking horrible... I lose about $1900 total at the first place. Then I decide to go to the 2nd place.
The 2nd home game, is a very odd one.. It's a 1-2 game, but with a $1000 max buy in. And the people there are more than willing to throw all their chips into the pot on top pair, or even just AK with nothing. The math of games like this works out to this.. try to limp with any two from any position. When you have a big hand pre, raise to whatever people are calling. When you have a medium hand, remember that it's still 1-2 and that a $15 bet in this game is still a huge bet, as you can see 10 hands for $3, so there's no reason to call $15 with a J9s. But, of course, I'm on tilt from the other game, and still tired, and still not playing well. And I just want to play every hand. Anyway, I wind up busting this dude for like $500 when my A8 turns into a 9 high straight, and he goes all in with his set of 7's. But, I lose that within about 4 hours, as I make stupid call after stupid call, and stupid bluff after stupid bluff. I wind up with only a $90 loss from here, but it feels like I'd lost $500, as I had a huge stack so early.
They also have the Playboy channel on in the background, which I find pretty horrible. When it's just R rated naked chicks taking showers, I could ignore it with some self control, but when it turns to hardcore XXX late at night, I couldn't not stare at it. And in poker when you have to look at other dudes faces, and you see this wide eyed expression of another man with a hard-on it is really as bad for me to try to play through as being drunk or stoned. And of course ten guys sitting together during a poker game is kind of gay in the first place, but ten dudes playing poker and watching porn together seems like one step away from fucking each other in the ass. If I go there again, I must get a seat with the TV to my back.
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