Anyway, if I use the word “insane” another ten times to describe this game it would not be redundant... It's a 5/5 game, with a $750 max buy-in. On nearly every session I've been there I've seen at least one person win $4000, and at least two people lose $5000. I've seen wins of $10k, and losses of $15k. Remember, it's only a $750 buy-in, so in order to lose $5k, it means you need to lose nearly SEVEN (7) full buy-ins. It's madness. Today's game starts like this...
Crazy Asian 1: “I'll take $750.” Hands dealt, he turns to a Yamakazi. “You wanna do it on the first hand?”
Yamakazi 1: “Sure.”
Crazy Asian 1: “Ok, I'm all in.”
Yamakazi 1: “I call.” Everyone else folds. the Yamakazi said he JT, never showed though. The Asian had... K7 ....of spades... so they were suited, wow. Asian wins by turning two pair. As the chips are being pushed to Asian, Yamakazi yawns, adjusts his Rolex and then wipes his ass with a hundred dollar bill. “I'll take another $750.”
So, mostly in this game I dig a foxhole, and only come out of it come out with big hands and huge bets, bluffing is retarded. They will see flops with any suited cards, any ace, any two picture cards, most off suit connected cards. This strategy translates to something like... If I have pocket TT thru QQ, I'll either make a huge raise pre flop, preferably all in, or just call, and hope to hit a set. Why? Well, If I make it like $50, I'll get called in at least 3 spots, and there are very few flops that I'm going to feel comfortable with against 3 hands. If I make it $100 or so, then, hopefully I'll only be up against one player (hopefully a maniac on complete tilt), and then I can put him all in when there are no over cards, and hope that he hasn't hit some retarded 2 pair or whatever. High pairs, and high Aces are pretty easy to play though.. you make it $50, hope to get 3 callers, and hope to either hit the ace, or hope that the flop isn't too dangerous for AA or KK.
Anyway, I buy in for $500, and in the first two hours I play literally 2 hands and am up about $250. Ok, so, I have somewhere around $750 in front of me. Yamakazi 2 raises a reasonable amount, I call with 33, and am way surprised to see everyone else fold. I didn't even bother to figure the expected value of calling his raise, because I figured that my odds to flopping a set would have been easily covered by the other people in the hand. Anyway flop = 33K !!! I check, he bets $100. I try to look concerned... I take three slow and deep breaths, try to look at him in my periphery, and just call. Turn is, who the hell cares?? I have quads!! I check again, he also checks, balls. I sit and think on the river for a second, and then decide that if I go all in it's going to look like a stupid bluff and he's going to call.... or if he folds, I can not show the hand and tell everyone what a great bluff I made. So, I try to make the bet as stupid sounding as possible. And in a jovial voice somewhat reminiscent of my twelve year old sister, I announce that I'm all in. He's like “all in??? What? Do you have four threes?”
I change to a stern expression, give him a sideways glance, and say dryly, shrugging my shoulders, “man, this isn't poker school.” To which he keeps muttering to himself about four threes. Anyway, he calls, I show him. The whole table was going on about how they knew it for sure. Yeah, yeah, doesn't matter what you know, I know that I'm getting doubled up, and I also know that I'd probably get called by almost any donkey at this table with a king.
The next couple hours I wind up losing like $500 on pretty amazing play. Actually it's about the best I've played since before my $26,000 disaster in Atlantic City (more on that in later posts, I'm sure). The best hand during this time I have JJ on the button. I raise to $50. Both blinds call. I've played with Asian Dude in small blind for a couple of years. He's developed from a complete retard to a pretty patient and not horrible player. This particular day, he'd played great and gotten unlucky for like $2000, I felt bad for him (not that bad, he's in his late 20's and a millionaire). At this point he's only about half way into this, and so he's still got most of his wits about him, and isn't doing anything dumb. The big blind is Yamakazi 1.
flop = Ten high rainbow, no good straight draws there either.
Checked around to me, I bet $125. Asian Dude raises to $300, Yamakazi 1 raises to $600. I'm trying to decide if they're putting me on AK,and trying to get me off. Yamakazi would make his play with a ten, or maybe even just 66, putting everyone else on high cards. Anyway, I realize that Asian Dude hasn't put his money in with anything bad all day, so I show Backgammon my Jacks and fold. Asian Dude puts Yamakazi all in, he of course insta-calls, Asian Dude has... AA!!! Yamakazi studies the turn and river and mucks. I can't contain my fist pump I'm so psyched on this fold.
After a couple hours of losing more money on more good folds, I have AK and about $600 in front of me, I raise to $50.
Backgammon, this kid to my right, who I think is a pro now used to be a backgammon pro, raises to $150. He's also a maniac, wants to play every hand, pushes all of his draws. But, is pretty precise with the odds. While he can't read anyone for shit, his math and knowledge of pot odds is very good, and allows him to compensate his flaws a little. Anyway, I just go all in, figuring that he's got some bullshit hand, and at worst I'm racing. He calls, he has JJ, a better hand than I thought. I ask if he wants to run the whole board twice, he says “no, I don't think you're going to hit.” Board = AKX, X, X.
I win a couple more hands, on... I completely forget what, and wind up up $1400 by the time I leave for the gym at 5. As this game is all on credit, the owner can't pay me as he has no cash, so I have to come back later. Anyway, come back to collect, so that I can go to the 5/10 late game that I'm planning on. So, with some time to kill, I buy in for $500 and sit down for a few more hands.
AK.. Raise to $75 which is the normal raise on the table now, as everyone who's still there is completely insane because they have each lost at least $2000. Backgammon raises to $200, Crazy Asian 1 calls. As they're insane at this point I know that a middle pair for them is worth $200 now, and Asian will play almost any suited crap. So, with not much thought, I push all in for the rest of the $500. Backgammon calls, Asian calls.
Check, check on the flop. Backgammon bets the turn, Asian folds. I've hit nothing, Backgammon has... 9hTh.... which just happens to be the nuts for a 8-Q straight. Yeah, nice you fucking donkey. I think I said something shitty, I can't remember, we did have a conversation about how he was 3-2 on winning, and like I said, he's good at the math, but bad at reading people.. So, yeah, while his pre-flop raise was retarded, once he and Asian put that much in the pot, he was of course right in calling me.
Ok, so shake the dust off, get another $500. And a few hands later I get two red Kings. Make it $75 again, Crazy Asian 1 calls, as does owner of the card room (who's another crazy Asian). Flop = J high with three clubs. I go all in for about $400. Owner goes all in as well, and Crazy insta-calls. I'm like “business? Business? Anyone?” Neither of them say anything. Collections at the other end of the table starts making fun of me “please? Business?” I laugh, sit back, turn a King, and river blanks. Owner didn't show (let's guess top pair maybe with a high club to go with it) Crazy of course has the 2 of clubs and the 4 of clubs that he played for $75 pre flop. I think he was stuck for like $3500 at this point. After that punch in the balls of not just losing but hitting the set of K's on the turn I know I'm on complete tilt. So I get up immediately, tell the owner that he only owes me $400 now, and that I have to go.
The 5/10 late game
As a lot of the same dudes from the early game come to this, it's a big donkey fest as well. However, as it's a bigger game, with a $2500 max buy in, it's enough money on the table that these guys actually care about playing well, and therefore can be bluffed now and again, and their bluffs become somewhat more obvious from the pained look on their faces.
I start the game with two amazing calls.. One with AJ with a K high flop, and nothing for me, I called this commercial real estate developer down for like $250 on only A high. Another I called Yamakazie 1 down for like $150 with K3, and flopping a 3. I got such a good read in these small hands, and I am pleased at how I played them, keeping pots small, not letting it get to the point where they'd make a bet that'd make me uncomfortable going through with the reads.
Awhile later... I straddle for $25, because the dude to my left had been sleeping or straddling on every hand, so this takes away the sleeper from him, and forces his straddle up to $50, which he obliges me with. When it gets to me I find AA, I make it like $125. I get called by Collections, who is a nice late 40's guy who runs a collection agency, intimates that he's mob connected, but always goes out of his way to be gentlemanly and trying to show how he has such a high degree of integrity all the time. Whatever, while I like him, I think that everything he says is probably bullshit... dude runs a collection agency, people hire him to send big black dudes to knock on your door. I used to think that he was a decent player, but well, no....he's horrible, and he always has a shit ton of money on him. So I love him as much as I do everyone else there. Anywho, yes I have two aces and there's about $300 in the pot...
The flop = 882, 2 diamonds.
I bet $500, Collections thinks for a little, asks how much more I have. I count out that I have about a nine-hundred more, and he goes all in, I insta-call, show the AA, he tells me I'm good, refuses business... Turn and river are both diamonds, and I have the ace of diamonds. He mucks without showing, he has me covered, I have about $1500 in front of me at this point.
The rest of the night I try to do what Barry Greenstein said to do in his book about after you win big you should never cash out at your top, and just throw away a few hundred. Well, I try to do this and keep picking up pots, betting out with like JT and flopping 2 pair. I do manage to give enough action from the big stack that I'm hoping that it left a good taste in everyone's mouth, as I'm a little wary of pissing people off these days, as I don't want to be kicked out of another game (more on that later, I'm sure as well). I win a few hands of not much note, and walk away from this game with just under $2000 in profit.
In other news... poooooooooker
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